[AusRace] On the Punt - characters you see occasionally

Tony Moffat tonymoffat at bigpond.com
Sat Mar 4 22:50:28 AEDT 2017


I was at the races this day when I saw Santa Claus being sick. It was
close to Christmas, obviously, and I expect that Santa had partaken
too much of the free spirit being offered to guests and elfs and
himself. It was on the back stairs of the curved grandstand at Moonee
Valley and sick Santa was due to come down the main straight in a
sleigh pulled by a tractor, it was dry and overcast actually quite
dark for maybe 3.00pm in the afternoon. I had been to the toilet
nearby, the best actually always clean and rarely used except by the
staff. Anyway, as I said Santa got to the bottom of the stairs and
vomited, just missing an attendant elf, there were about four of those
and in a most unlikely elfen manner one of them said 'oh fucking hell,
he's pissed again ' so I'm thinking that Santa needs to drink more and
get his body used to it. So what did they do, well they put back Santa
arrival by one race, they took his outfit off and surprise, surprise
he was wearing shorts and long socks and a short sleeved shirt. Then
they inspected his outfit and one of the tiny elves put it on and she
doubled as Santa although her hat was way too big. They came down the
main straight and turned into the race and came towards the grandstand
and the kids went beserk. Although the buzz word for that back then
was beresk. When Santa left the sleigh there was a silence as it was
realised s/he was tiny, I mean there were taller elves that maybe
could have stepped in but no, this brave kid put the suit on, tied it
in with tinsel so that the pants stayed up, rolled the leg of the
trousers up and wore thongs, it being summer and all I guess. Anyway
Santa, small as she was walked amongst the crowd stating Ho ho ho and
throwing lollies around and in a few seconds the kids got into it and
he went up to her chair and held court there. There were photos of
giant kids on tiny Santa knee and more lolly throwing, I personally
caught and ate a Roses chocolate, more than one before they melted,
and I am unsure of the fate of the sick Santa, but he was presented
next year so I am going to say that he survived. The pool of spew was
left there, presumably this was not elf responsibility although the
assuming of the Santa persona was, and well done to stand in Santa,
you are a trooper.
That day, the Santa upset tummy day I was with friends, Keithy, Mark,
Gavin, Aaron, Aarons Mum and Dad, Peter and Chas and another to make
10 at a party and we had a table in the betting auditorium, a booked
area, provided you didn't leave the place because if you did the
others would swoop on the chairs and the table and you couldn't move
them or sort it without a blue. I backed the winner in the first,
Here, as I thought the favourite was going to be covered up in the big
field and Here had put in a good run although was only a 2 year old
but had won at a big price the run before and won well from a wide
barrier, as he had here. I saved on Yonder Song who ran third at a big
price. The others had bet this for a place and won too. I stayed out
of Race two, a three year old fillies race. In race three I backed
Pipes and Minchins Lane which won after a previous good run in a
harder race. I stayed out of race 4, the second division of the three
year old fillies although some of the others backed Lady Somerset for
a place and made a profit with that. In race 5 I had a small bet on
the tote on the winner Flying Visit and saved on Kerrys Son which
lost, it was not a race I would normally bet in, there were a few form
gaps here, all runners had form but it was dodgy. Santa did her thing
after this race so that made it even more special. In race six I
backed three runners, I saved on Society Man which won, I backed Mac's
Indian which came second, and lost on Recollect which was unplaced and
hopeless and there was a big boo for it afterwards. I didn't see
anything wrong with the ride so somebody lost their $5 I guess, that's
usually why they boo. I did not have a bet in race 7, I had a pie
though and a talk with the others although I had walked up to have a
place bet on Lucidium, Brent Thompson riding from barrier 15 but the
queue was long, it was close to start and I was still in the queue and
about 5 persons back when they jumped. It placed but the place
dividend was weak, so somebody, Keithy maybe, had plonked on it.
Later, he said he had a good win, making nearly $3300 on that bet. I
should mention he is a big punter, carries $3000 minimum on course
with him often and most often much more. Don't touch his money
because, just don't try it is my advice. That's big money for anybody.
Keithy often backed horses to place, his hot shot picks paying $1.70
and he had $1000 on it, a profit to him of $700. He didn't shrink back
though, the rest of us would stop and lock in the profit. Not him, he
would look for something in the next and tip $200 on the nose and a
$1000 for the place on it. He left the place loaded often, he used to
go to a toilet stall out of the way and sit on the seat and straighten
out all the notes, put them all the same way then bundle them into
flat groups of ten notes, all beautifully arranged the correct way
round, then he put the packs of money into his coat, in pockets sown
in by his partner Amanda, so that he looked respectable as he left,
his coat buttoned up in 95 degree heat sometimes. Amanda took the
money out when they got home and there was a lot for them, some for
her and some for Keithy, never a disagreement because that's how it
was, and I cannot suppose or guess how much money was in the place
after a couple of good weeks on the punt, and he bet other days as
well, either up to his local TAB or if he lost at that one he went to
another, yes, apparently TABS have feelings. It was this last trait of
his, the superstitious Keithy that could name or blame most things or
occurrences on his belief in the supernatural. Its what kept Amanda
around too, she was very spiritual that girl and her life evolved
around them, the spirits from food, to travel, to clothes, to colours,
to sex so probably everything came down to superstition. I never had
sex with Amanda although she suggested we should be doing it, often,
and Keithy said she did meet men elsewhere sometimes. It's a different
world made up of different people. But Keithy and his superpowers made
him a tidy quid occasionally, although I believe his high priced
ratings he paid for also helped there, he got all the metro meetings
and the ratings came in the mail, he was hardly organised and
sometimes he had misplaced his ratings pages between, the bedroom, the
office, the toilet or the kitchen and he lived in a converted hotel so
there were lots of rooms. In the last race that day, Santa special
day, I backed Silver Kiwi for a place and saved on Chance Landing
which was unplaced and heavily backed when there was a delay at the
start. So I had a winning day as Silver Kiwi placed and paid good.
Keithy must have won a bit too, a bit by his standards meant a lot of
winnings.
The previous week at Flemington it was hot and sunny and it was quiet
on course, no Santa this time, and Keithy backed Kilkenny Kid in the
hurdle for $400 place and won $200. Then he backed the favourite in
Race 2 Sardius which won paying a $1.90 so he won $380 for his $200 on
him. He had $400 on Delphi Rose with the books and won $1000 there. He
had $100 place on Persian Saint and it placed but there was a lot of
other money for it to and he made $110 on that he said. In Race 6 he
took Paignton straight out at 7/1 and also had $1000 place on Arms
Hussar, Paignton won and the other placed paying $1.80 so he was $1600
up on that one. He backed Sue Lad in the next and it placed paying
$2.10 with his usual $1000 and saved on Sky Castle with $100 with the
books, which I placed, and it lost. In the last he lost $300 when Pure
Heart failed to place and ran down the track. He would not tell me how
he decided to finance his betting, his big wins were on place bets but
how he decided the value of the bets he did not divulge, I think he
meant to but he kept the mystique going for a while. Certainly he bet
on well qualified horses, they definitely had a chance of figuring in
the finish and often his was the public elect, the favourite in other
words. His announced winnings were awry as well, I mean he said he won
$380 on Sardius after he bet $200, and he won't have it that he won
$180, he cannot win back or what ever word he uses for it less than he
put on, that's not punting is it. But he recorded things in detail,
his after race writing was better than his before race assertions, put
it that way. Amanda was often just outside his flailing radius, he
rode them home, in the stand, on the lawn, in the car. They won
because he made them do that, and you never heard why they lost, but
more on that soon.
It wasn't always beer and skittles though. The week before again, and
I wasn't at this meeting, he won on the 2nd,4th and 5th race but lost
on the day because two bigger bets failed to salute. So he had $250
and $400 bets but his $1000 bets otherwise did not place. It was wet
and windy at Caulfield he said and that is never a good sign
apparently, but he still piled it on to lose $3000 on the day and
Amanda had to go another week without her beauty treatments. Poor
love. But he drove around until he found a church with the lights on
and Benediction running so all good. She is intensely religious which
seems at odds with how it is afterwards.

Mark on the other hand is a punting mate who knows a lot. He rates his
runners, their performance in various previous races and the quality
of those races against the runners in this up coming race and the
overall race quality again. He then has a good oversight of the
ability of his runners so he can select with that knowledge but he
involves the jockeys and the barriers they start from at this
distance. He has most angles covered he believes and spends several
hours every week preparing for this one day, a Saturday in Melbourne
at the races. He doesn't talk much until about the 3rd race and he may
have finished betting then as he generally locks in a profit by
banking any winnings and he is content to look on. He is a
professional, race course betting is how he makes his living and re
investing those winnings is how he makes money long term.  He has
houses and shops and small industrial units all paying him a dividend.
He hopes to stop and spend his money, all of it he says, some day
soon. He wants to travel relentlessly, just follow a band around the
world for instance, something he has done several times previously. He
has a girlfriend, Marg, and they have been together since primary
school. They are both health nuts, running and gym workouts, and own a
building where a gym resides, he says. Mark may specialise in races
where the favourite deserves to be so. He often has big bets on short
priced horses because he has assessed it is worth it, and the general
public and the bookmakers also have the same opinion. He almost always
single picks, he backs one horse only. At a meeting just after
Christmas, the Santa episode Christmas, he backed Mighty Czar for a
big amount and he made 2.50 for each dollar he spent, a profit of
250%. It was a sizeable profit I believe, in the order of $10000. He
took a cheque from the bookmaker and $2000 then had $10 bets on some
races, 3 I think, and snared some quinellas in them, then he backed On
the Prowl at 4.60, Quashqai at 3/1 although it started longer and he
rushed to put a thousand on it on the tote and it paid $5 and in the
last race he and Marg backed Sportscast everytime it went out to even
money, they walked in with $500 bets with 5 bookies. It was a
devastating win, I mean perhaps a $30000 result just on that race and
maybe $50000 for the day. I went out to tea with them that night and
we did not talk about the races until about 2.00am when Marg said it
had been a good day and we stopped for a coffee and he showed me some
of the cheques. Mark said he was driven somewhat by the price of the
runner he was backing as, to him, this was an indicator that the money
was 'on' and the stable connections and owners and smarties, which
included these two, had concluded that the chosen runner was value,
even though its price was skinny. As an aside, I may concentrate on
the same race hoping that the smart money is wrong and subsequently my
selections, often 3, nearly always two, will have an inflated price
because of the thinking and application of money. Mark acknowledges
that but he stays down the short end of the price spectrum and does
well with it. He estimates he has won, he has made as profit, close to
$400000 from racing and has the asset backing to stop at any time. He
says he would never give back the $400000, he would appraise his
betting monthly and would order or force himself to stop if he started
to lose big. He has gone three races, three consecutive races over two
days where he has lost, so his pick on day one lost, his two picks on
day two lost, then his first pick on the next day won and then he won
again the same day and he recouped his spends. He share trades too and
has an income there and that is where Marg really assists by reading
and assessing and advising on trades, those that may rise several
cents overnight but he has so many of the shares that it amounts to a
sizeable profit and he sells and re invests in something else. His
betting method takes some mind control and a certain detachment  from
the result, if it happens it is expected, and if it doesn't trust your
method and plonk your money down again. At Caulfield one year just
prior to the Cup we were at theraces, Mark and I, Marg and others and
I had my list of bets. I was confident I had looked at all the angles
of exposed form and made my selections impartially, just off their
merits. I stayed out of the first race and Mark and Marg backed the
winner, a good size bet at 6/4 with the bookies but which paid $1.10
on the tote and he had had $1000 on there, $1000 out and $1100 back
but his profit was with the big bet with the bookies. He was happy to
look on he said, his money made. In the 2nd I backed King Zavata as a
saver, it won, at 4/1 and another which lost at 8/1 - Miss Budweiser
ridden by Malcolm Johnston. There was less than a length between the
first 6 horses. We went for a meal and watched a couple of races, and
I missed a few bets but that was ok because they failed to flatter as
they say in the racing papers, Love Bandit would have been a saver and
won whereas the prime pick lost, this was Willow Star. Then the next
race, I missed the winner and in fact almost everybody did because it
started long priced, but I got a third and this would have been my
choice of betting also. Anyway, as I said we had a meal, a rump steak
for me. The next race Mark and Marg had a sizeable bet on Shannara at
2/1 and it won and I backed Epillette at 7/1 and Monocle at 25/1 each
way and it ran second. In the Caulfield Cup I backed three runners,
Mighty Kingdom on the tote and it won paying 11.80, Warri Symbol which
ran second and Kingston Town, a good horse which however ran unplaced
today and its regular jockey, Malcolm Johnston rode the winner. Mark
and Marg may not have had a bet on the Cup. We all sat out the rest of
the meeting and I think I was on the way home before the second last
race. But it was a good day dollar wise and well the rump steak made
it for me, although the company was superb too.
Keithy, his name for himself, was fascinating to talk to. He had come
here from the UK with nothing and worked on a wheatbelt farm in WA for
a few years then went mining, prospecting and made a fortune which he
used to buy a company which went broke so he went prospecting and made
a fortune which he invested and lost it again so he went prospecting
and made a fortune but hung on to this one, bought shares, bought
equipment that he hired out, bought real estate, paid prostitutes and
went looking for pearl and abalone and coal and gold. He was wealthy
but did not flaunt it, he had an up market ute and an old Rolls Royce
and lived in an old pub on the outskirts of Melbourne. He was a friend
of Micks first I think through vehicle and trailer hire that he owned
and Mick used exclusively when he was working, they socialised a lot
and Keithy often had a girl on his arm, and often the same girl Amanda
and I don't know but I suspect she had called herself that. She stuck
to Keithy like glue and got paid for the presence he said. She felt me
up occasionally but I gracefully declined and she smiled and nodded
and said nice man, your wife lucky. Really, tell her I thought. Rose
and I had stayed with Keithy on and off when visiting earlier but Rose
was concerned about Amanda and I think tried to change her. There were
lights on all night down their end of the house and Keithy booming
baritone urging her to do more or do it again or something else. But
Keithy had made and lost several fortunes and lived it up while he had
this one to support him. He made sense sometimes when he spoke saying
that entrepeneurs like him still exist, are still prepared to roll up,
parlay everything and score big when it works or lose it all if it
doesn't. Fearless or crazy he had his actions examined by a PhD girl,
an accountant perhaps and she showed him that if he had kept a third
of what he had made and kept doing what he had done but only rolling
over the two thirds of it he would be crazy wealthy. He was he said,
crazy and wealthy, although I doubt it. He still knew the price of a
pie, the true test of a scrooge I reckon and he was good to be around
even without the amazingly sexual being that is Amanda. He liked the
races did Keithy and he was often cashed up with thousands to plonk on
something. He asked me my opinion and I was cautious, suggesting a
little on this or that or both so he would have $2000 on it and the
rails bookies asked him to bet with me mate, top fluctuation for you,
but they didn't like him too much. He won and walked off and didn't
give them a crack at getting it back plus whatever else there was in
his zipped up paper grab bag he carried his money. He took $10000 cash
and the balance in cheque and they wanted him to bet in the next but
he sat with me as I had my $40 bets with the boys in the flat. He
often had a quadrella bet, lots of combinations to win the last four
races and he would put over $1200 or $1500 just for that and he got a
few and got a few big divs as well but mostly he liked the one or two
big bets and liked it best if they won. He often asked my opinion and
the others in the group, but he had previously plonked on his and was
happy with his choice, nor did he berate you for yours, just making
conversation I think. If yours scored and his didn't he spent 10
minutes discussing the merits of both, don't worry, he had considered
the winner but chose something else because of his technique. He
watched from the stands and rode them home, a sizeable perimeter
emptying around him as boomed out his choice, he was living and
breathing the races for a while, .The rails boys were less than
exciting if he lost, a too bad so sad gesture from them to him and an
offer to take the favourite at the early price in the next but unless
he had a horse, had researched and sometimes checked with me he rarely
bet big like that. He had followers too, some who watched what he was
doing down the left side of the ring and they would run off to back it
on the tote with their $5 or give the info to the bagman for the man
they were working for, the secret service that bookies don't have.  He
had houses and he had his big place, the old pub, the pub with no beer
and no beer drinkers. They made a picture in the front bar once, used
it for some scenes. Amanda was from the Phillipines and went to
church. He would find me on course most days he was there, it was hard
to avoid him, he was taller, wider and had had more hair than me and
wore denim shorts and a sports jacket and brown shoes and light brown
socks and he was fit and strong and younger. He has a tattoo, a
failure, on his forehead near the hairline, it was done by him, in the
mirror and he can't spell. It was to be LOUISE perhaps, but of course
it is reversed and starts as ESIO, and stops, I did mention he cant
spell. There are underline lines on his forehead too, but he hasn't
got the letters inked in there yet.He was going to have it lasered
off, but you don't know its there unless he gets Amanda to shave his
head, then he wears a bandana to hide the spelling mistake. There are
others on his scalp, the equator and the tropics of Capricorn and
Cancer, and these were applied by a girl in Malmo, Sweden where he
returns every winter and she knew her work.
Mark was the studious one, a form guru I believe, a tall man and
impeccably dressed, not overstated but no denim, nice trousers and
shirt and shoes and gorgeous woman, three or four and often two
together, and he would sit with me and talk about the next and what
did I think and I said and he agreed or talked to me about his pick
and why. He had variables that he placed importance on, the jockey,
the last start, the last finish, todays weight, its barrier. He single
picked too, fined it down to one and often this meant none because he
couldn't see a ready made winner, or more often a place getter at odds
he liked. He was good though and successful. I had his notebooks for a
couple of years and could fathom his way of selecting. He became a Dad
early and left us for two years or so but said he had a leave pass
when he returned and a couple of weeks after that his partner and
their child were at the races, me holding the little tacker while she
placed a tote bet and he went off to back one on the rails. Beautiful
sleeping doll she was too, pretty like her Mum. He went full time at
it for a few years and did ok, from his notes, and on days other than
racing or form study he ran, distance with his wife and kid in a
special pram. He is a pastoralist in SA now.
Just  few more I stumbled across during my time at the track for a
couple of years back then. Keithy expected you at his banquet on
Saturday night after Amanda had gone to church. But if you have a
feasible excuse it was ok, he didn't worry too much about who came and
often there would be a few hangers on, enjoying the $700 feast and
drinks. I went to one then pulled the pin on them for the future, I
had a truck or dozer to drive on Sunday I said, and I did. Keithey is
feeling the effects of the good life and has been living in the
Phillipines for a few years.  Amanda still offers to have sex with me
but my wife won't let me have an affair so I say no to her. Crazy life
for some.


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